feigning intelligence
Monday, October 28, 2002
Major shout out to my man Adam at ND. Thanks for reading, buddy. So last night I saw the Liars and the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs at the Southgate House in Kentucky. Best damn time I think I've ever had in Kentucky - thanks to shivvy and the whole 97X crew. The Liars were the best. They're doing things with sounds in their live show that most bands could only dream of attempting. Pretty amazing - not for everyone, but still, they're a lot of fun. Anyway, I have a bunch of crap to do before I fly out to Orlando on Wednesday. Tests, papers, applications ... damn.
Friday, October 25, 2002
So my parents are comin' to town tonight. It's a little odd because they don't usually come to town. It's even more odd because they are spending the night and they NEVER do that. But it'll be fun. I'm actually really excited to see them. I'm doing the whole Halloween thing tonight, too. I have to dress up. I don't know about that. It all seems very fratty to me. But hey, it's for the Englewood boys, so why the hell not? I think I'm going to wear a speedo and a sport coat. And by speedo and sport coat, I mean pants and a shirt. I'm crazy, but hey man, it's cold outside. I'm not runnin' around in the rain with no pants on. That's just crazy. Anyway, think I might go as Matt. That would be pretty funny. I need a wig and some brightly colored clothes. haha.
Wednesday, October 23, 2002
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
Seriously - Cassius - Under Influence. Such a good one. I'm totally diggin' the Yohimbe Brothers, too. Thanks Trish. Anyway, I just finished up the newest addition to my dull little contribution to The Student. It hasn't been edited, but here's your advance copy. It'll be on the streets come Friday I think.
Man, being a dumb, 21-year-old male is a pretty good time. I’m not going to lie.
This weekend I went to Vegas. Last night I drank beers and watched football. This morning I’m sitting at my computer, drinking coffee and eating fruity pebbles while deciding whether I feel up for class at 2 p.m.
Are you kidding me? Are you sure this isn’t some sort of heaven?
Sitting here, I just can’t imagine how life gets much better after this. I know older people who are always saying their kids made life complete and were without question the best things that ever happened, blah, blah, blah. I’m sure they didn’t intend to lie, but there’s just no way they’re telling the truth.
Let’s consider the facts. I can stay up all night partying and raising hell around town with my friends and wake up at noon the next day with zero consequence. New parents have to stay up all night listening to a screaming kid then crawl out of bed for work the next day at 7 a.m. Hey, I love kids as much as the next guy, but I’m no liar – kids aren’t more fun than getting rowdy with the boys and throwing the last 20 bucks in your account on Maryland to cover the spread.
Surely I’ve proven my point.
But what about this whole money thing, you ask? When you’re 35 or some random age like that, you have a substantially greater amount of disposable income, enabling you to do all the cool things you’ve always dreamed of doing. This is definitely true, and by this theory, 35 would potentially be more fun than 21.
But it’s not.
When you’re 35, you may have boatloads of cash to drop on potentially cool stuff, but you’re actually going to spend it boring stuff like cheesy golf trips to Arizona with other dorky 35-year-olds, your kids’ college funds or Rogaine for that damned receding hairline.
Don’t worry, old guys, lameness will strike us all down someday, too.
Because I’m dumb and 21, I can spend 10 bucks on a case of Beast Light and a new wardrobe at the Valley Thrift and I’m set for a hell of a night. I don’t need a copy of Maxim to tell me what cool crap I should buy with my cash.
I don’t need swanky restaurants to serve me a visually appealing, $35 meal. I’m dumb and 21, I know the going rate on about five different pizza specials around town like most people know the ever-fluctuating price of gas.
Hey, old guys, your money is cool, but I’m broke and I’m still having a lot more fun.
Anyway, my intention is not to just pick on old guys for being so lame … simply to use them as the butt of a few jokes to help remind everyone out there to have some fun while you’re in school. Those old folks who are always telling you these are the best years of your life … yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re telling you that for a reason.
So get out, get rowdy, get some stuff done. Just make sure you don’t have any regrets when you’re done with this place.
Because regret … well, that's just be another lame, old guy thing to do.
I'm gettin' serious old guy hate mail from this one.
Man, sorry about the lack of posts - I've been in Vegas. Man, it was some weekend. I went to strip clubs and casinos, hung out with the Lakers at Rain and played war for money. Yeah. Vegas is some town. I actually had a really good time with the guys, but I don't think I could ever go back to that city. It's pretty much the truest American city though. All sex, money and man made, sparkling crap. There really isn't any appeal in that place outside those three things. Like I said, I had fun, but it's just not my place. I won't be going back any time soon. Anyway, I'm back and ready to get back in the school state of mind ... sorta. Until I go to Orlando next week. Sheesh. I have to write a column - any ideas?
Monday, October 14, 2002
I think I'm on to something with the bagel ideas. The Back Yard BBQ Bagel. I'm thinkin' BBQ chicken, creamy coleslaw and american cheese, all on an onion bagel. Extra sloppy for those extra drunken nights. How American Back Yard is that? Slap on a side of potato salad and a case of Bud and you're set.
Man, PR is annoying the piss out of me tonight. Oh well. I'm going to keep on churnin' out the crap for about another half hour or so then hang it up for the evening. Maybe turn on a movie. More than likely I won't, however. I used to be able to stay up late at night way back in the day. When I was a sophomore and I didn't do a damn thing, I stayed up until three in the morning watching Blind Date with AJ and Mark. Now I require sleep. Sheesh, how annoying. I worked on the website tonight, too. Damn glitches. It would be done, but there are a few missing pictures. I don't even know why it does this, but I fixed it quickly last time and I'm sure I can do the same tomorrow. I hope I can, anyway. So yeah, back to the PR. Enough blog.
Sunday, October 13, 2002
Well, I did in fact buy pants. I'm wearing them now. Nothing special - no need for excitement, folks. So we had a nice weekend. Nothing too crazy. Friday night was funny. B Dubs. I never think I'll have fun there because it seems so dull and devoid of real atmosphere, but I usually end up having a decent time. Funny how those things work. So we're doing a bagel and deli thing for the paper. We're all making up our own bagel. I'm not sure what I'll do for mine. I'm such a strange eater, I can't imagine what I'd want to put on there. I'm thinking something really hot. I don't think there is a bagel right now that's just kick your ass hot. I'll call it the Hot Fuckin' bagel. Lots of peppers and stuff. I'll get back to you on that one. Ok, PR time. Man, PR, you're pissin' me off this week.
Friday, October 11, 2002
Ah. The weekend. I think I'm going to buy some pants. I don't know, I just need some pants. I'm becoming very denim dependent. It's a little frightening. I'll let you know how that goes. So when you find a cd in your trunk that you haven't listened to in like seven months and remember how cool it is - that's really cool. Actually, I found this one that some dude gave me on the street in Cincinnati one time and I actually like it a whole lot more now than I did when I first got it. It's called Deep Summer. Some software company made the mix I think. It's really hot though. LTJ Bukem, Swayzak, Telex. It's hot, trust me. And it's called smooth jams for an even tan. How cool is that? So yeah, my breath is bad I think. I love my ferrari hat. Thanks dad.
No post yesterday? Damn. Sorry to all those who think my life is interesting and enjoy reading about it. I realize I was just talking to nobody. Anyway, I'm not wanting to go to class. But I will. Coffee is on. Marketing, you bitch, here I come.
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
Back to the hotel ... remember that song? That was funny. Actually, I'm going back to the paper. I wish I would have made a CD for tonight. But I didn't I would have put some of this big ol' disco on there. Man, French music. It's so good. Ok, off to get amused.
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
Just got back from the paper. Man, I'm hungry. I'd like to go up to B dubs because it's cheap to eat wings tonight, but I'm not going to. I'm just have to work with the saltines and toasted oats. Oh, maybe a quick pasta just cause I'm pretty damned hungry. Some spinach in there? Man, sounds like I haven't eaten in weeks! Anyway. The paper is going to either be really funny or really not. We have this whole personal ad thing that has the potential to be funny as hell ... but also not. I'm hoping it'll be good. I really think it'll be nice. Anyway, the rest should be cool and if Jill uses the picture of Ryan Adams I like, the cover will be so cool. I model my life after this picture ... look for it on thursday. FOOD!
I think I want to work for Apple. They're such a cool company, don't you think? Anyway, I'm pretty pissed at my computer today. The damn thing is being very unruly. I'm trying to download Winamp 3 (which consequently really blows) and it's just wreaking havoc on the system. I went back to 2.8 or something. Anyway, I've been jammin' to new Cassius all morning. "The Sound of Violence" is such a good song. Check out their site - so awesome (www.cassius.fm). It's making me want to take a jet to paris and dance all night. Alas, I think I'll go to class instead. I used to be so into that whole Big Paris Beat when I was in HS and it's sort of comin' back to me a little this week. Bob Sinclair has some good stuff I've been rockin' too. Anyway, I think I'll settle back into my laid back drum and bass mode here in a week or so, but for this chilly day, the big French sound is keepin' me toasty. Ohhhh, my dad is comin' to Oxford on Thursday with my sister. I can't wait. It'll just be a lunch date, but I miss 'em both.
I'm in that category of tired where your eyes just sort of flicker without your permission. I can barely keep them open and they just reduce themselves to little, fluttering slivers. Man. I'm tired. Today was a pretty good one except for the fact I had to drop $140 bones for the damned electricity bill. Man, that's annoying. Water I can deal with. You see that shit going down the drain and you know you're gettin' charged. Electricty just seems theoretical. You know your computer is running because of the miracle of electricty and you can get your shit shocked all to hell by it, but you can't really see it unless you ram a foil gum wrapper into the wall socket (some kid I went to school with did that all the time). Anyway, I'm sleepy. To bed.
Monday, October 07, 2002
Man, you can put so much thought into relationships and the like and they just never seem to make sense. They certianly don't subscribe to the hard-line logic crap I've been studying for the last few weeks. Just when you think you've got something worked out it ceases to make sense. I'm not talking about any one thing in particular, but the lump sum of my life just gives me the spins. I guess that's what it's all about. So I'm working on revamping my website. It's for a class, but I'm making it more my own thing than what I'm supposed to for class. Whatever. I think it looks cool - that's all I really care about. I need to start gettin' busy on some PR homework, but I think I may go up to the lab and finish up a bigger part of this site instead. I just sort of want to get it over with and online. I know if I wait too long, I'll lose motivation and it'll end up being a piece of crap I throw together before it's due. So we'll see. I'll post the link when it's all complete. Off to be a big computer nerd.
Sunday, October 06, 2002
Well, I've taken the test that will shape the future of my life and I've lived to tell about it. Honestly, it's really damn difficult, but it's not the end of the world. I don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't ever cry and I think that's a good thing. The fact remains though - the thing is still so behemoth based solely on its power to determine the future. If I do bad, I don't go to law school. If I do well, you can more than likely find me under a fucking rock studying like a mad man next year. So who knows. I'm not all that concerned any particular way at this point. What's done is done. So last night was quite fun. Patrick and Carson came in from Omaha to visit the school and see if they want to come here next year. I have no clue if we sold it very well, but it seems like they had fun. Who knows. They saw girls making out. I liked that when I was 17. Hell, it's not all that bad now. Ha. Anyway, I spent a wonderful evening unwinding from hell's entrance exam with some people I really enjoy. Thanks everyone ...
Saturday, October 05, 2002
Christ. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of some cliff. One of the figs will finally take shape here in a few. Thank God for the Flaming Lips. Isn't it amazing how music can make your whole life focus in its little three to six minute intervals? Thank God for the Flaming Lips.
Friday, October 04, 2002
Ah! My brain hurts. One more logic game section then dinner, movies and bed. Then I enter the belly of the beast. Until then ...
I usually just fly by the seat of my pants. It has its benefits ... and its drawbacks. I really can't imagine doing it differently, though. Anyway. I'm only writing this because I have a quiz on a book I haven't yet read this afternoon. I have a couple hours before I can spend in the library, though. Maybe something will click there. I'm not that concerned. He drops our lowest quiz. So I could bomb and still be ok. It's a little annoying though because I think it was a good book - I just didn't get an opportunity to read it because no fucking bookstore in the Miami Valley has copies left. Anyway, I digress. I'm sitting here in a towel. I need to get dressed, coffee fixed and gone. By the way, Laura's Miguel Migs suggestion - although slightly sappy - was a good one. Thanks Wisconsin.
Thursday, October 03, 2002
Hey, y'all, check out my column before it's in print. This, by the way, will be the unedited version. Who knows what those crazy Student kids will do with it once they get their hands on it. Just kidding. Anyway, wrought with err, here goes:
So the other day in Ken Alrutz’s ENG 355 class we’re discussing Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar. Depressing, I know, but there’s this little sequence hidden within all that somber, Girl Interrupted stuff that I just haven’t been able to forget the past few weeks. I usually don’t identify much with great literature, but for some reason, this one passage won’t go away.
Crazy, I know, but I can’t quit thinking about the damn thing.
Well, in this particular section, Sylvia made reference to lying under a fig tree and how all the ripe little pieces of fruit on the branches above represented a different avenue of life she could potentially follow. She could be a doctor, a teacher, a mother, a farmer – anything. All she had to do was reach up there among all those options and pick one. Just pull it down and devour it.
Seems simple enough, right?
Well, those of you who know old Sylvia well, know her universe isn’t all peaches and sunshine. See, she follows this nice, logical little passage with the depressing footnote that once she picks her fig/life, all the other figs/lifestyles on the tree wither and die, leaving her for eternity with the fig she selected.
Yeah, that’s awfully depressing, don’t you think?
And it’s especially disheartening if you, like me, find yourself an idiot senior gazing clueless up into that tree trying desperately to figure out which one is going to taste the best – for eternity.
Damnit! This is a tough one.
So what do you do? I’m sorry, but if you said try the CPPO for ideas, you’d be wrong. I hear they’re not all that good at helping you select figs unless you’re a business student.
Personally, I haven’t a clue, but I keep on going back to what someone told me when I was a kid. Like most things that were told to me when I was a kid, I probably didn’t really pay much attention at the time, but this little piece of advice stuck with me for some reason or another.
A wise person once told me to do what I loved and that everything would always work out for the best. Now, being a cynical child, I saw the err in this logic immediately. At the time, I loved playing at the pool – who can survive on that salary?
What a moron ...
But the more I think about it, the more I realize she was probably right. For most of my life I’ve thought I’d be a lawyer or some sort of businessman for no other reason than I heard they made some decent cash and took nice vacations. Boy, that sure sounds like a load of crap now that I think about it.
Now I’m realizing, like Sylvia, once I pick that fig, if it sucks, there is very limited opportunity to toss it under a bush and grab another before anyone notices.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that for all of you who are going through the same horrible/wonderful process I’m currently enduring, I completely understand your utter confusion. Just be careful and pick something you really like.
Because I’m pretty sure this whole life thing is an important decision.
So it was a rather long night at the paper, but actually, I think it was well worth it. Not that it isn't always well worth the hours of standing around waiting for my cronies to finish their shit while I focus on stuffing all kinds of crap down my throat that I know will have inevitable repercussions on the ol' waistline, but last night was especially good for some reason. Just a good paper I suppose. The cover is pretty hot this week. The top seven isn't one of our best, but it's pretty funny in my own humble opinion. You'll all have to (again, I'm assuming people will actually read what I write) check it out. So they tell me at the Student last night I have a column due today. Thank God I have that one backlogged. I think I would be in a little trouble this morning if I had to write another. But I may still. I have a few hours and a few things to say. Maybe. Maybe I'll write about this thing. I think that's unlikely, however. Anyway, I hear (and smell) the Brazilian cookin' in the next room. I'm so addicted to coffee ... it's sad. I just lag all day like a busted old gateway without it.
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
Gearin' up for another night of the paper. I think it'll be a pretty decent one. We have a great article about the best places to take a crap on campus. I hope you'll all (as if people were actually reading this .. and the paper for that matter) like it - Bo and I were crackin' up last night just reading excerpts from it. Sounds to me like second floor of the old shriv is the primo place to drop a duce. Anyway, that's nasty, I'll talk about something else. AJ just told me his professor talked about my article in The Student today in his class. Pretty funny. I don't think the professor agreed with me. Not that I infused my opinion to any great extent, but I suppose I didn't make the business school sound like the most ethical of institutions. Anyway, he just didn't think teaching ethics to students would do anything to make them ethical in the long run. There is some truth to that statement, I'm sure. People will always do what they want, when they want and ethics can be very situational. Just depends on the circumstances of the particular event. But still, that's sort of like saying it's not worth telling your kids to refrain from playing in the street because they're just going to do it anyway. I mean, that guy can think whatever he wants, but I feel like there is something to be said for the instruction of ethics. Especially to those individuals who plan on administering our future corporate universe. But what do I know? So yeah, I think I'll make something to eat here so I don't spend the remainder of my snack account tonight.
I'm not sure why I feel like my body is for some reason an exception to that whole sleep rule. You know, the one where your body requires it for existence.Whatever. Brazillian coffee, I hear your call. I'll be there in a second.
So I've wanted to do this for a long time and I've just never gotten around to it. Now is by no means the proper time - I have a million things to do and much sleep to try and steal before the next dose of deception ... er marketing in the morning. But like I said, I think this thing - the blogger - is pretty important. Anyway, I'm sorta just writing this because I need something for a first post I suppose. Maybe I'll say something interesting on it later. Maybe not. More than likely the latter. Who knows. Sometimes I surprise myself. Like today, I did a little better on my first LSAT practice than I thought I would. I know, I know. First one four days from the big dance you say? Yeah, I'm busy, deal with it. I'm not really sure how I'm going to do when I decend upon ol' laws hall, bright and early on saturday morning. But whatever. If I do well, I go to law school. If I don't ... I don't. Or I keep trying. But that seems like a real bitch. I'll just take 'er day to day. That's the way I handle most of my life, why should this be any different. Ok, contacts out, to sleep I go. g'night.
